Author Topic: Worst Holiday Gift you've ever received...  (Read 10258 times)

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jayb

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Worst Holiday Gift you've ever received...
« on: December 24, 2016, 11:22:09 AM »
Let's hear 'em.  I'll start.

When my wife and I got married in 1992, it was clear that her aunt was not fond of me.  Also, she was a notorious re-gifter.  First Christmas after we were married, my mother in law was sick and asked the aunt to pick out a gift for me, from her.  I received a small, dusty Tupperware container.  I'm sure it came out of the back of one of the aunt's kitchen cabinets.  I actually still have that one, use it to soak grease off bolts.  Trying to make the best of the situation.

The next year, from the aunt, I got a CD of harp music.  Obviously she wanted me dead and playing the harp.

Several years later, my wife's grandfather passed away.  He was quite a character, also dressing in the same blue leisure suit and yellow striped tie at any family gathering.  The day after he died the aunt and her husband drove 300 miles and started rooting through his house, grabbing everything in sight.  The next Christmas, I got the dead man's tie!  They buried him in the leisure suit or I would have got that too.

Top that, you guys... ;D ;D
Jay Brown
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- 1964 Ford Galaxie, Drag Week 2009 Winner Modified NA (9.50s @ 143), 585" SOHC
- 1969 Shelby Clone, Drag Week 2015 Winner Modified NA (Average 8.98 @ 149), 585" SOHC

   

Royce

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Re: Worst Holiday Gift you've ever received...
« Reply #1 on: December 24, 2016, 11:38:44 AM »
Jay that one is hard to beat.  I can't even try, but I had one of those aunts too. The look on your face would have been priceless.. How did your wife react?
 
I had 2 Aunts who never had kids and the odd gifts always came from them.. One aunt had been to Africa and had brought back souvenir gifts for her nephews for Xmas..   We were in our teen years in the early 70s.  Imagine our shock when we opened the gifts and found 3 identical trucker wallets made out of elephant hide.. Damn, yeah I am going to show that off to my buddies.  They even had an odd gamey smell on them.. We laugh every time it comes up..
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e philpott

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Re: Worst Holiday Gift you've ever received...
« Reply #2 on: December 24, 2016, 11:40:44 AM »
Can't top yours Jay ... but , back in around 1980 to 81 my girl friend that I had dated for a couple years invited me to one of the family's Christmas dinner , afterwards her great grandma gave me a kiss and slipped her tongue in my mouth ..... later I told my girl friend that when her grandma gave me a kiss she slipped her tongue in my mouth , she laughed and told me her grammy does that every now and then when she's had some wine to drink....lol

Royce

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Re: Worst Holiday Gift you've ever received...
« Reply #3 on: December 24, 2016, 11:52:31 AM »
Jay, I just read your story to my wife,  we started laughing hysterically till we were crying  lol... What a mental picture..It makes it all the more humorous because we both have relatives who would be capable of that..
1955 Thunderbird Competition Coupe Altered Chassis "War Bird" 383 Lincoln Y block 520 hp
1955 Thunderbird 292 275 hp Y Block
1956 Ford Victoria 292 Y block

1957 Mercury 2dr Wagon "Battle Wagon" drag car 
1957 Thunderbird Glass body Tube Chassis drag car 333 cu in 500 hp Ford Y block
1961 Starliner 390/375 clone
1965 GT40 tribute w/FE
1966 Falcon Pro Touring project
Kaase Boss 547. 840 HP 698 Torque  pump gas
1992 BMW V-12 5.0
2001 Lincoln 5.4 4 cam.
1968 Cougar XR7

blykins

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Re: Worst Holiday Gift you've ever received...
« Reply #4 on: December 24, 2016, 12:06:45 PM »
Eric.  That's disgusting, man.   I'm gonna puke.
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MeanGene

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Re: Worst Holiday Gift you've ever received...
« Reply #5 on: December 24, 2016, 12:40:13 PM »
I got a piece of ass and a sweater- and they were both too big :o

fryedaddy

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Re: Worst Holiday Gift you've ever received...
« Reply #6 on: December 24, 2016, 12:56:45 PM »
i got a yo one time for xmas when i was a boy.my brother got one too so we put them together and we had us a yo-yo
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FElony

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Re: Worst Holiday Gift you've ever received...
« Reply #7 on: December 24, 2016, 12:58:40 PM »
Top that, you guys... ;D ;D

Careful what you ask for. I had a fairly small group of relatives that got fragmented early on. Near as I can figure it, it's been 33 or 34 years since I've had a Thanksgiving or Christmas dinner with a group of people. Presents? Ha! From who?

At this time of the year I send a donation to Wikipedia and SomaFM. On Christmas day, while millions of people who think they are oh-so-kind to throw a buck at the guy on the freeway offramp get together and pork out, I will be eating nothing all day, to commiserate with those who truly have nothing. The key here is to keep busy all day, so I picked up 80 of the 400 6" pickets going up, to paint two coats on each side before installation.

What doesn't kill me makes me...

turbohunter

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Re: Worst Holiday Gift you've ever received...
« Reply #8 on: December 24, 2016, 01:14:00 PM »
Mad?
Marc
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Joe-JDC

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Re: Worst Holiday Gift you've ever received...
« Reply #9 on: December 24, 2016, 01:23:51 PM »
Sounds like you need to give her a really nice gift to make her feel like the Grinch she really is.  Worst gift?  No call from son on Christmas, birthday, or 50th anniversary.  Joe-JDC
Joe-JDC '70GT-500

Drew Pojedinec

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Re: Worst Holiday Gift you've ever received...
« Reply #10 on: December 24, 2016, 01:33:43 PM »
Mad?

He must be a south pole elf.....


Sorry to hear that Joe.  Don't ever give me your phone number, I'll be calling you all the time to ask strange air flow questions.

FElony

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Re: Worst Holiday Gift you've ever received...
« Reply #11 on: December 24, 2016, 01:46:54 PM »
Mad?

Stronger. Never mad. Anger distracts from focus. If I could go back and have a big family and get married and have kids and get entrapped in the status quo, I would choose instead to repeat the situation I lived through. OK, I'd collect more FE parts earlier on, but that's a different category.

Despite appearances, I am really low stress. Putting up this fence without catching a cold is my biggest challenge at this time. Oh boo hoo. The constant drama that relatives and the opposite gender can interject in one's life is not for me.

FElony

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Re: Worst Holiday Gift you've ever received...
« Reply #12 on: December 24, 2016, 01:50:54 PM »
Mad?

He must be a south pole elf.....

Yes, and soon the rumors of the alien ship buried beneath the ice will be proven REAL and my kind will burst forward and smite those whining SJW's and force Ford to produce new GT500's in quantities sufficient to keep prices nice and low. Yep, payback's a bitch.

FElony

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Re: Worst Holiday Gift you've ever received...
« Reply #13 on: December 24, 2016, 02:31:43 PM »
OK, I'm gonna give youse guys the most valuable Christmas gift ever. That's right; a lesson on how to be a Real Man. A dying and almost dead breed; the elixir pertinent to Making America Great Again. Play this for your friends and family this weekend. If they object to the language tell them to grow a pair. Females, too. Tell them I said so. Make Real Men out of Real Boys or we are all finished.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K1vZq3bTS_Y

Toodles!

Oops; forgot the Christmas music.    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NsiOfpYdXUk
« Last Edit: December 24, 2016, 02:51:12 PM by FElony »

Tommy-T

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Re: Worst Holiday Gift you've ever received...
« Reply #14 on: December 24, 2016, 02:41:11 PM »
My mother in law gave me 2 boxes of 357 SIG. I needed 357 Magnum.

Hard to be jolly...when you're running low on ammo! :-\