This day in history marks the intentional release by an American entity of a virus so insidious and dastardly that it had a profound and debilitating effect on every unlucky two-legger that crossed its path. Designed to instill doom and woefulness via smoothing of the intracranial convolutions that define elevated thought processes, those who circumvented early adoption were soon counted amongst the ranks of the earthworm.
Yes, I am talking about the very first real global pandemic: the notorious Cojet-68. Fifty-two years later, there is still no cure aside from full immersion in its toxic grasp. Bow down in awe, drooling heathens. Bow down now.
