I still think we should do the road trip. They make absolutely excellent brandy there. Just think FElony, you could being back your new Cobra project, plus a bottle of brandy that would knock the girls socks off the next time you're out on a Saturday night. Show them you truly are a man of wealth and taste 
.
A)
You do the road trip and tell me what ISIS encampment you would like me to send the box of chocolates to. I would send flowers, but they might be a tad dry by the time they get there.
B) Brandy schmandy. I'm totally crocked on bottom-shelf vodka and cactus squeezins. Why else would I be shellacking the Tech forum today?
C) Cobra schmobra. You know I want a box Lada. I know you could get me one.
D) Socks? (You thought I was gonna say "schmocks, didn'cha?) If a booze doesn't jettison bra and panties by the third gulp, I just can't use it.
E) About three years ago I was sitting at the bar (the following is a true story) at some dive (goes without saying; I gots taste and all), trying to figure how far into the alphabet the bartender's bra was. Went like this:
FElony slurs, "Hey, baby, wanna see my snake?"
Cindy (her real name) says, "What snake?"
FElony replies, "The one I got here in my pants."
Cindy rolls eyes. "You can't do that sitting here."
FElony smirks, "That's not what I asked, is it? OK, I'm gonna take it out!" [reaches down pretending to struggle with the anaconda behind the zipper]
Cindy exclaims, "I don't want to see it! If you do, I'm gonna yell for the bouncer!" [feigns shock and disgust, but looks down there to see what's happening]
FElony points out, "Baby, this is a dive at 10 pm. The bouncer is passed out already." [continues action below bar level]
Cindy gushes, "Please no" [looks more worried now that waitress has arrived right next to me]
FElony, "Hush, I know you'll like it" [reaches into pocket, pulls out shiny silver plated money clip with the Shelby Snake engraved on it. Waves it in front of her astonished eyes]
Cindy: "Ohhh" [goes through relief and disappointment, then can't stop smiling. Waitress is smiling "just because", even though she has no clue what's going on. Bimbo]
FElony: [Taps on clip] "Hard, ain't it? Want to see it better?" [turns clip sideways so bartender and waitress can see 100-dollar bills jammed to capacity]
Waitress: "I get off at 2"
Cindy: "I think I just had an..." [quivers, faints]
FElony: [looks around, staggers behind bar, cops a generous feel from swooned bartender, walks out front door without paying bar tab. 'Cuz that's how he rolls]
Wealth and taste. Yep, that's me!
