Tips on being a good trunk monkey :
1: When you get to the track, unhook the trailer, unload the trunk and the back seat , put the slicks on, take off the exhaust system, put the door bars and the window net in , and check the chassis to see if there was any damage on the road trip.
2: Identify competitors in the same class as Jay. Make notes on their performance and report back to Jay. Also keep an eye out 4 conditions in each lane so you can help him make lane choice decisions if need be.
3: If it's hot out and Jay is all strapped in the car in the staging lanes, bring him something cold to drink.
4: when it's time to leave the track, put the mufflers back on, take the door bars and the window net off, put the street tires on, hook up the trailer, pack the trunk and the trailer and the backseat.
5: after you carry his luggage up to the hotel room, put an Andes chocolate mint on his pillow and fold the cover back a little bit. This makes him really happy and if you're lucky then he won't ask you to rub his back.
6: Jay likes to make bets over silly things during the day, with the stakes usually being who will buy dinner. That can be a lot of fun. But don't let him lose too many times in a row, or he will get crabby and only take you to Taco Bell, even though you took him to Outback when you lost. Sometimes you have to intentionally enter into a bet that you know you will lose just to keep the peace.
7: don't leave a bag of monkey chow on the dashboard of his car. It could spill and go down the defroster tubes, and it gets very stinky when it is hot. Then Jay will be accusing you of farting because he doesn't know about the monkey chow in the defroster.(Don't ask me how I know)
Have fun, good luck!
Steve, are you taking notes? The mint on the pillow is especially important
Actually, Joel is a little miffed at me because I threatened to replace him with another trunk monkey:
I liked this trunk monkey better. To begin with, he smelled better than the old trunk monkey. He was also much less expensive to feed. He was more polite, too, and didn't snore all night long in the hotel room. He only required minimal upkeep, whereas the previous trunk monkey needed 5 or 6 suitcases of supplies before he would go anywhere. And of course, the new trunk monkey got quite a bit more work done than the old trunk monkey.
We'll see how this year's trunk monkey works out...
