Man Drew that's one loyal friend, beers or not! 
Yeah, I mean I was "third eye" drunk so I wasn't entirely sure how to handle the situation. I was a vegetable farmer, and I'm a pretty nonviolent person, I mean, if I had to kill an animal in order to eat it, I'd most likely just be a vegetarian.
It was around that time that I decided I needed to get out of the woods, I wasn't making enough money anyway, so I took a job on a tugboat. I figured maybe people would be a little smarter and civilized out there.
First time out, I became in charge of the engineering dept. We went offshore for 27 days and were coming in to crew change. Obviously after 27 days in "seahab" we all had a strong desire to get back on land.
So we're pulling into Morehead City North Carolina.....
I'm up in the wheelhouse with the Capt and the Deckhand. Their conversation went like this:
Deckhand: *looking through the binoculars* "WOOOOOweee, lookit dem girls!"
Capt: "Lemme see those binoculars..... Jesus, those girls are probably in high school!"
Deckhand: "Dammit man, I don't give a f*ck how smart they are."
I didn't know how to react in that situation either.... I just laughed hysterically, and they both looked at me strangely.
Deckhand: "I think Chief's gone crazy, been offshore too long."
