Doug,
I deal with this every day and the general feeling is plus or minus 10 grams ( on the overall set) is not a problem. The old standby 50% balance ( rotating to reciprocating) factor is still the most common but many over or under balance based on rpm and power factors. This "can" move the "harmonic" point of a given engine out of the operating rpm range and keep it from failing prematurely. The idea is to keep the engine out of that rpm or in it as little time as possible. It IS important that the replacement set all be within a gram or two of each other. You don't want a ten gram variance in the "set". A sure sign you have a balance OR harmonic problem is little things like valve cover bolts that won't stay tight , etc.
Randy