How can the Edelbrock head chamber be 4.160 wide? I'm confused.
Because that is what they measure out of the box, on bare or assembled heads, when they machine the chambers for the seats, the outer walls are cut at the same time or just part of the normal machining process. That is before the valve job, if there was any "un-shrouding" done... it will be even wider. Your chamber is wider than your bore, you will see when you take it apart. Having said that... there are plenty of 390's running hard with Edelbrock heads.
You have pretty big valves for a 4.050 bore... I was thinking your bore was 4.080. I am guessing your exhaust valve is very close to clipping the bore.
I did not use sealer when I first put it together, all decks were fresh machined and smooth, Cometic doesn't recommend sealer. I have re-used Cometic's on the same engine before, then I do use copper coat before assembly after I have cleaned everything up, as best I can. No problems sealing to date. In your case... I would most certainly use it.