My guess on this is that the cam companies specify the lash depending on the ramp of the cam lobe. So I think the right place to check the lash, if you want a really precise figure, is just before the ramp on the lobe starts. Lash at that point will be what the ramp sees as the lobe turns into the roller lifter.
FWIW, I've run hot lash on rollers up to .022" without any durability problems on the street. Most of the cams I have specify .016" to .024". I think you are probably correct that running tighter lash would help with the durability, but I'm not sure that a few thousandths either way would make a big difference, unless you went all the way up to .026"-.028" or so.