Please tell me they are not really going to call it "Godzilla".
NEWSFLASH! NEWSFLASH! TOKYO UNDER ATTACK!
We now join CCN news correspondent Lon Demon:
LD: "Hi fellas! Howths my little stud muffins out there tonight? Getting ready to raise some naughty heck necths week for Valentino'th day?"
STATION MANAGER: "Good lord, Lon! The headline!!"
LD: "Oh right. Well anyway, our athociate in Tokay-OH called and thaid thomething about thomething approaching Japan. I just cannot for the life of me understand the Asian bois when they get excthited. I guess we'll just thwitch over there. Take it away, Taki!
Sensei Takahashi: Thank you, Ron. Airport towers see huge device coming to Tokyo Harbor at very fast speed. Experts say, looks like come from Yankee shoreline. Wait! Experts now say... IT'S GODZIRRA! NOT AGAIN! Rast Godzirra ruin Tokyo for years. Oh NO, changing course to Fukushima! Run for your rives!
bzzzzz snap bzzzzz crackle bzzzzz pop bzzzzz
LD: "Well, back in "Yankee" land. I mean, who stills calls us Yankees? Really? Hey, don't forget to buy some choc-lits for your fave rump ranger next week."
STATION MANAGER: "Oh fer cryin out loud. That's it, I quit"
This is CNN. The most trusted name in news.
Couldn't help myself. I'm weak. Apologies to Japan. Japan only. Send hate mail through PM.