I use a 50/50 mix of 93 Premium and 110LL, which is a low lead fuel designed primarily for airplanes. My engine needs the extra octane kick if I'm going to play, and it's the only available high octane fuel around my parts. It also prevents run-on when shut down. All iron 427, iron heads, no seats.
The lead will leave a gray coating on stuff, not black. What you're describing sounds like a minor oil issue mixing with the lead in your additive, which will leave the black residue you describe. Other than making it really hard to read plugs, the lead won't cause an issue, but the oil/lead mix will eventually cause problems with that gunk building up.
As for needing lead, I can't say that I've ever seen an FE engine sink the valves. Maybe some here have. I HAVE seen it plenty of times on small blocks, primarily from the mid 70's up. That's a known issue with the cast iron and heat treating on those engines, when they were still figuring out the whole 'no lead' thing. I've built and used some hard working FE's in trucks for towing use. A couple I had hardened exhaust seats put in, a couple were bone stock, never had an issue with any of them. If it worries you about your keepsake engine, I wouldn't second guess your desire to be safe and use the additive, but I'd figure out where the oil is coming from. Sooner or later, that is what will cause an issue.
I also think that a bit of lead helps the fuel system in storage times, like over winters. Modern fuels aren't friendly in storage, but lead seems to deter gelling and gunk buildup from the alcohol in them, at least in my experience.